Excuse me, do you know where I can fuck a bus?

I’m on an airplane right now, heading from El Calafate to Bariloche in southern Argentina.  Remember, I’m in the southern hemisphere, so the more south you go, the colder it gets.  In fact, I was in a place last week that they call the “end of the world”.

I don’t really get that to be honest.  Is there really an end to the world?  I thought it was round.  And Antartica is right there too.  Hmmmm, do you think the whole “end of the world” thing is just a way to get more tourists to come here?  If you answered yes, you would be correct sir!

The point of this blog? I want to share a funny story.

Cojer.  That means “to grab”. I learned Spanish in Spain.  There they cojer everything.  They cojer money from an ATM.  They cojer a beer.  They cojer a bus.  Cojer, cojer, cojer.

So when I arrived here, I started asking questions…  Excuse me senor, do you know where I can grab some money from an ATM?  Excuse me, ma’am—do you know where I can grab bus #15?  Hey pretty lady, wanna grab a coffee?  All of this…using the word cojer, like a good Spanish student.

PROBLEM:  In Argentina, cojer means “to fuck”.

I didn’t find this out until about the 4th or 5th day.  And when I did, I couldn’t help but to laugh at the thought of what I sounded like with my broken Spanish and my Gringo accent…

Excuse me senor, do you know where I can fuck some money?

Excuse me ma’am, do you know where I can fuck a bus?

Excuse me pretty lady, wanna fuck a coffee?

Of course, it still literally means “to grab” but it’s NEVER used like that here.  So they just laughed, and answered me.  Nobody told me how dumb I sounded.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  I have another week down here in the Pantagon.  Which basically just means the southern area of Argentina:  snow-capped mountains, huge glaciers, and high prices.  I’m with a buddy I studied with in Holland 10 years ago.  He works for the Spanish national airline, so he gets free tickets all over the world.  He spontaneously came to visit me and we’ve been traveling together for the last 10 days.

On the 15th, I return to Buenos Aires.  I will stay there for at least a few days, doing some stuff I missed out on.  Then I’ll hit a few more places I want to visit in Argentina (in the north).  Then I’ll be heading to Peru for my last month.  No Chile, no Bolivia.  Just not enough time.

I’ve decided to create an online guide to Peru with video for my next business.  Manuel and I have been doing a practice run here in southern Argentina and we’ve gotten quite a positive response—including free beers in one location!  So, I think that’s my next business.  Not sure what it will be called yet.  Keep ya posted.

I’m outta here.  Hope you are good.

2 Responses to Excuse me, do you know where I can fuck a bus?

  1. Corey Oxman December 23, 2010 at 12:25 am #

    I’ll be in Buenos Aires in a few weeks. We’re spending 4 days there….What should we absolutely do? What can we skip? And who should i cojer? 😉 LOVED THAT STORY!
    Thanks for the advice, J Town.


    • Jordan December 23, 2010 at 8:59 am #

      I’m glad you liked the story! Don’t you worry–there will be plenty of Argentinian men whistling, hissing, and saying funny things to you. They are harmless, just smile and enjoy 🙂

      I’m more of a “walk around” kinda guy–rather than going from one site to the next. I would rent a bike though. They have a map (it’s famous) with a good, known bike route. it’s a GREAT way to get to know the city.

      In BA, each neighborhood is like it’s own city. So I enjoyed just walking around the different places.

      Palermo is totally different than San Telmo and both are two of my fav places to walk around. Stop for a coffee, an empanda, a slice of pizza. BA is known for all those things.

      Belgrano is another neighborhood that is interesting to check out, just cause it’s more modern, fancier. Totally different. fancy stores, shopping, etc

      Of course, Congreso, which is the center of the city needs to be seen as well. It’s hustle and bustle, but that’s where the Casa Rosada is and all the political action is. Right now, there might be fun stuff going on, cause they are crazy times in Argentinian politics.

      For food, I really, really, really suggest “Siga La Vaca”. It’s at Puerto Madero. not hard to find. just go to puerto madero and ask around. everybody knows it.

      It’s by far the best food I had in BA. It’s all you can eat meat, salad, desert, etc. Actually, you only get one desert. It’s a pretty nice place (waiters and everything), but it’s the best meat I had there. It’s cheap too. When I was there, I think it was about 50-60 pesos. Inflation is crazy in BA though, so expect prices to be higher than you are reading about.

      I had meals way more expensive than that, but nothing nearly as good. not even at the fancy restaurants in palermo that everybody raved about. i’m not normally adamant about restaurants, but i am right now. i’ve talked to dozens and dozens of travelers about that restaurant, and we all agree. Siga La Vaca is a must hit.

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